Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Hooters girl facts of life

1. Nylons are the most loved and hated piece of clothing you own. You hate them cuz they make you look half oompa loompa but you love them cuz they suck everything in!

2. You will miss nail polish. No matter if your a nail polish addict like me or you don't paint your nails often you will miss it.

3. If you weren't great at getting rid of creeps before you will be an expert now. Now whenever someone stares at your chest you will automatically go oh sorry I forgot to tell you my name, its BD. And just stare them down, you both know they are busted but its a good way for him to save face.

4. You will spend obscene amounts of money on make up.

5. On days off you simply will not give two fucks what you look like.

6. You will think of it as a major treat to go out to eat and be served, and no matter how shitty the service you will ways tip awesome.

7. Anytime you hear people clapping you will automatically head towards them thinking its time to sing a song.

8. You will be able to go to the bathroom, fix hair/make up, and eat your meal in less than ten minutes. Five is more like it.

9. You will be super protective of your "good" pens and only give out your ugly colors to people.

10. You will be able to read people instantly, you will know if they want to talk or want you the eff away from them.

11. You will know the words to every pop song in the past 20 years.

12. You will know at least 6 ways to pretend you have boobs (sorry boys 90% of your hooters girls are either wearing a push up bra, padding, or wearing to bras to look like they have boobs)

13. You will use multiple bottles of hairspray a month. Minimum.

14. No matter how much you wash your clothes or shower you will always smell like ranch or wing sauce.

15. You will develop a fantastic fake cheerful voice to welcome people.

16. Your fake laugh will fool even yourself as being a real laugh sometimes.

I will post more as I think of em. :)

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