yes I know I suck

Alright I officially suck as a blogging human being. I really never expected many people to look at this and now I feel like a super buttface having posted nothing in a million and ten years. No worries I will get back on this blogging wagon. Trust me I have plenty of stories from creepy old men to bitchy girls to being unladylike. Sorry again!

Why I am a Hooters Girl...

People have been blowing Google up with questions on why Hooters Girls choose to work at Hooters. And honestly I don't really understand this.

I'm just saying, I don't see a ton of people asking why models model, or why football players play football. See I get everyone is curious but its no different than the models or football. Now hear me out, models get jobs based on their looks and/or bodies and they aren't crazy judged for it.  And football players get jobs based on their size or speed and thats totally normal.  It is just a bit hypocritcal but whatevvv. Now, really. We do get the job if we are pretty but personality comes into play so much more than looks.

You could be Jennifer freaken Anistan with the personality of a a rock and you might somehow get hired but you will most definitely not last. You have got to be a people person for this job. Your day consists of trying to get people to come out of their shells, and running your butt off all while still trying to look cute.

Its a rough life but somebodys gottat do it :)

Oops!

Oops! I just figured out that I had my settings too high so no one could comment on my stuff. I wondered how I was getting so many views but no comments or anything. Just saying!

Another tip for girls applying at Hooters

Don't be a bitch to the girls when you come in. I will never understand this. Picture this.

In walks a girl who is pretty and dressed pretty cute. But she looks like someone pissed in her cheerios this morning and is glaring at every girl in there like she is too cool to even be seen around us. Then she asks for an application from the girl she was just being a cunt to. Well guess what honey, that girl is going to go back to the manager and tell them you want an app and when the manager asks what they think of you we will tell them that your are obviously a deranged bitch for thinking you would get hired with ones as lowely as us.

Managers respect what the girls say becuse we have developed some killer people reading skills. And what manager is going to hire a girl he knows will start shit? No matter how hott you are no manager gives a fuck if your just going to be a bitch. Sorry to burst any bubbles :) okay...well im not sorry but still.

ATTENTION GIRLS WANTING TO APPLY TO HOOTERS.

Okay here is a post for girls wanting to apply at Hooters. I am doing this post for a few reasons, first because a huge portion of the views I get are from people googling questions on how to get hired and such. Another reason I am writing this is from stupid people that come in and apply and do the dumbest shit ever so I figured if I could enlighten a few of you Hooters Hopefuls then it would be a successful day.

When applying at Hooters DON’T:

-Come in during any rush. Seriously. On what planet does it make sense for you to come in at 1200 or 600 when we are busy serving people? You did want to get hired correct? The best times to come in are from 2-4 Mondays – Thursdays. If you’re the dumb bitch that comes in during our lunch rush asking for an application I can promise you it gets thrown out the second you leave. Honest to freaken god truth.

-Come in with your boobs hanging all the way out of your shirt. This happens all the time and I just don’t get it. Yes it is a job based on having a nice body and good …assets but really. We are the girls next door, not flown in from skank-town on your slut-mobile. I will write about good things to wear further down.

-Come in with all your tattoos completely showing.

-Come in with your hair up. I just don’t get why you would do this. And soooo many girls do this! You have been to Hooters, you know what the uniform is! Hair down. Every day. So why on earth would you come in with your hair up? When the manager is doing your initial interview they are trying to see what you would look like in your uniform so when your hair is up there are multiple things going on in their head. 1. You look ugly with your hair down that’s why its up. 2. You have ugly hair. 3.You are mayor of frumpy-town. 4. You are obviously an idoit for going to apply with hair up like that. So in case I haven’t made myself clear. WHEN YOU APPLY AT HOOTERS DO NOT JUST THROW IT UP IN A PONY TAIL. ACTUALLY STYLE YOUR HAIR. Okay? Great!

-Come in with friends for moral support. Yes that sounds like an obvious one but really we have had people come in with a group of friends and only one is applying. Weak.

 

Alright I cant think of anymore right now so lets work on what you SHOULD do when applying:

-Wear something cute. Yes I said cute. Not sexy, slutty, whorey, STD’y, or anything else. A skirt and a cute top works lovely. Your top should show you have boobs but not in a literal sense. We do not want skanks working here, that would fuck up this whole family vibe thing we have going on. Just think about your kid, or little brother or sister. Would you want the skank from down the street serving them food? No. Well I hope the answer is no otherwise you are kinda fucked up. Anywho, when you come in dressy classy cute. Skinny jeans and a cute top works too. If its winter do not come in with a mini skirt and a tank top on because no one will focus on your cute factor they will just think you are a crazy person.

-Cover up any tattoos that show and take out any facial piercings. In the uniform you cannot show any tattoos or facial piercings, besides one stud per ear. And no, you cannot wear the plastic space holder either, cuz sorry dude we can totally see it just as if you were wearing an actual piercing.

-Wear makeup. Did you hear that wear make up! Here one more time, WEAR MAKE UP. You will be expected to wear make up daily so wear some to the damn interview! Foundation, blush, bronzer, eye shadow, eyeliner, and mascara. To start with. Just saying.

-Like I said before make sure you come in from 2-4 Monday through Thursday. That way a manager will sit with you after you apply and give your first intial interview. And maybe you will luck out like me and get hired on the spot!

 

Alright that’s all I can think of, just comment on here with anymore questions or send your questions to the blog. I haven’t worked here that long but I have seen a ton of shit so I can answer your questions!

 

Thank youuu, BD :)

More Hooters Girl Facts of Life.

1.       You will have a boyfriend that is real or fake and you will know how to effortlessly talk about him in conversations to discourage creepers.

2.       You will get phone numbers, hotel room numbers, hotel keys, and my personal favorite house keys.

3.       You will have guys flirting with you like crazy and they will ask for your number and come bill time they don’t tip. I mean honestly if you are trying to impress me putting a big fat zero on the tip line is def not going to help your case buddy.

4.       Ever having a good looking guy sit in your section is super freaken rare, seriously. I thought working here it would be hot guy central but nope! And if hot guys do come in they aren’t crazy to get your number cuz they are hot and they know it so they don’t have to work as hard! Lame, but super true.

5.       You will become the queen of small talk. Its your job. There will be creepers that don’t speak at all that expect you to sit and talk with them, so small talk is your new best friend.

6.       You will deal with jealous girlfriends. You know who you are, you try to be the cool girlfriend that takes your boyfriend to Hooters cuz your oh so cool with yourself then you glare at every set of boobs that walks within ten feet of your man. And when a girl braves coming to take your orders you hang all over him in case we didn’t notice the neon sign that says ’TAKEN. THIS WHIPPED MAN IS TAKEN. SO BAC KTHE EFF OFF.’ Real subtle I know. Update to girls like this: we do NOT want your man. He may be a lovely person but you are so obviously uncomfortable here so why would we want the douche that takes you here knowing you would hate it? Come on.

7.       You will be obsessed with sports. Okay well maybe not, I was already obsessed with sports so I love this job even more cuz you can sit and talk sports an watch the games with customers.

Douche boy strikes.

Hello there world! I have been super busy..and lazy so I haven't written in forever! Yes, I know. I suck at the blogging life. Sorrrrry!

Anywho, I have been working my life away and I still love it! I know after a while it will get old but right now its still new so I still love it. The only thing I don't like are the douchy people that come in but with my lovely sarcastic personality I can usually handle them fine.  There was this guy the other day that was so freaken rude I just couldnt stand it. He seriously was doing everything he could to be super annoying. I think I pissed him off with this conversation I will post but his friends thought it was hilarious.

Me: "Hey guys, can I steal these plates from you real quick?"

Douche boy: "No.....you can HAVE them though."

Me: "Oooookay. Can I please have these plates?"

Douche boy: "I don't know why you're asking me just take them! Damn."

Me: "The kitchen is right through there...How about you just go ahead and take them to the kitchen yourself if your so against me doing it."

He didn't think it was so funny but his friends thought it was great so I didn't get in trouble. He was just repeadely so rude and annoying that by the end I didn't give a shit if he tipped me I just wanted him to leave.  He tried to say one more douchey thing and by then I was just done.

Me: "Can I get you boys anything else to drink before you head out?"

Douche boy: "Sweet tea."

Me: "How about regular tea with some sweetener?"

Douche boy: "Yeah becasue I want regular tea when I specifically asked for sweet tea......just get me a water or something."

Then he tried handing me cash for my tip and I just wanted to get out of there so I just told him to leave it on the table and walked away, but as I was walking away I heard one of his friends start cracking up and he was like, "Damn dude you have done it again. You annoyed her so much she doesn't want your money to make up for it."

He still left a pretty good tip but I dont think if your going to be rude and obnoxious the whole time that a good tip is going to help. Thats you trying to make yourself feel better and trying to bribe someone.

When they left his friend apoligized for his friend being so annoying but he said I handled it well and douche boy liked that I talked back to him and didn't just sit there. Then douche boy walked up and GAVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER. Sorry felt like the caps were necessary there, but really??! After you are so extremely rude and try to make me feel like an idiot the whole meal you really expect me to call you?

People suck. Thats about all I have to say on that.

I hate dumb bitches.

I absolutely hate some of these girls I work with. I know that sounds awful and it sounds like im exaggerating but seriously if I hear one more girl bitch about having to actually take tables when she just wanted to 'chill' today or if I hear one more person tell me to take their table because they don't feel like it I will flip out.

As you might have guessed I had a rough day... I had a double today so I was there from 1030 A.M. and I left at 9 P.M. I did this same shift last Sunday and it was totally fine, but today was just annoying as fuck.  There is this girl I worked with when it was just me, her, and another girl on the floor. This girl will be called mini-brat (mini cuz she is like 4 feet tall and brat cuz its nicer than saying bitch everytime). The other girl I worked with is the one girl I work with that I absolutely love! She actually wants to work and we get along so great! We both don't usually have girl friends because of all the drama. We will call her Air Force (in case you didn't guess she was in the Air Force.) Alright so me and Air Force were running around doing our tables and were so confused why we all the sudden got so busy and were super fucking pissed because more and more tables kept showing up at our section and we hadn't sat them there. We finally got a second and realized that mini-brat was seating everyone in our section. We watched her greet another table of four and she started walking them to my section and I walked up and was like "Hey I am kind of full right now take them to your section." She just rolled her eyes and sat them in mine and I swear it took every ounce of will power I had not to just punch her in the face.

Luckily for me my manager W is amazing.  He walked up to me and was like "Um BD are you really desperate for money? You should probably let mini-brat have some tables too..." After I explained that we hadn't been pulling tables but that mini-brat sat them all with us he was super mad, and it cracked my shit up. He was all, "Oh, hell no. Don't worry the next three tables that come in are hers."  So that really made my day. :)

And another thing that just pissed me the fuck off was what she would say to my tables. She would sit them and be like "I don't know where your waitress is, she keeps running off so I can take your drink order and hopefully go find her soon." So my tables would start out with the opinion that I am just useless and were grumpy with me. Jokes on her though cuz I still made bank today.

Sorry....rant over. I was just quite pissed! But I made $170 today, and I think for ten hours of work on a Sunday that is fantastic!

Regulars, creeps and average joes..

At Hooters there are pretty much three different kinds of customers. Regulars, creeps, and average Joes.

Regulars- those people that make coming into work a lovely experience. I have a few regulars right now but there is one I absolutely love. He is an older man and is absolutely adorable. And so freaken sweet it kills me! He will come in and ask about my day/life and actually want to hear the answer! I know right, shocking! These people might not be your best tippers but they remind you that not everybody out there went to douche school.

Creeps- yes Hooters has creeps, as absolutely unbelievable as that may sound yes it happens. I had a table who honestly only spoke to my boobs, I get that I have a fantastic wrack but no matter how much you look your chances of touching them will not increase. Sorry but true. So to fix their creepiness I decided to be a bitch. I walked up to one guy and talked to his crotch for a while. The look on their faces was fucking priceless. I thought they would be mad until one started laughing and was like, "that was the most awesome thing I have ever seen!" I actually ended up having a blast with them once they realized I could dish it out as well as I could take it. Ended up getting $80 tip from them. Not bad at all.

Average Joes- self explanatory, people that frequent Hooters that neither help or hurt your job experience. Nothing bad but that's all I could think to describe it!

Ufc tomorrow!! Ahhhhh I am soo nervous. But hopefully I make some money!!