Tuesday, May 7, 2013

First interview.

I wish there was some major secret I could impart on you all for acing your first interview but alas there is none. I do however have some tips that should serve you well. Im a trainer now I know these things. (Oh yeah did I mention im now a fancy corporate trainer?! Yeahh Im kind of a big deal)

1. Dont dress like a slut face if you dont want to be treated like a slutface. Yes its Hooters and boobs are necessary but honey tits hanging out is not attractive. Remember we want the girl next door, not the slut down the street.

2. Be genuine. Sounds obvious but do you realize how many girls we interview? Easily 2 a day, easily. Dont come in bragging about your fantastic skills at carrying ten plates and a glass on your head unless your prepared to deliver. On that note, yes do suck up. If its a female manager, maybe try to smoothly say how nice her hair looks and you wish you could do it like that. Dont make it fake though, if you think her hair looks like shit dont compliment it because odds are she knows it does and will think you are either a dirty liar or trying to get into her pants. Neither is hiring material. On the other hand with male managers if you can list every defensive linemans stats for your hometeam or know when the last goal scored during a powerplay (hockey sorry im obsessed) was then spout that shit.

3. From above, know sports. Nothing is more annoying then having to explain every little bit of a game to a new girl.

4. Style your hair. Do your make up. Give a fuck about how you look. Your boyfriend might think sex hair and smudged eyeliner is really hott but remember that whole next door girl versus  the slut down the street talk? Basically dont look like shit. You are obviously at least 18 if you can't do your makeup and hair maybe you shouldnt work somewhere that requires makeup and hair done everyday?

5. Do not be late. Bitch ten minutes early is on time, on time is late and late is motherfucking late. Do not show up late with some lame excuse about traffic and expect us to give two fucks. How do you think the rest of us got here? Flying cars? No but that would be fantastic.

That is all for now, ta ta bitches.

2 comments:

  1. No idea how you even got this job, based on your own criteria.

    ReplyDelete
  2. No idea how you even got this job, based on your own criteria.

    ReplyDelete