Once upon a time mister doucheface walked into hooters......He had an undeserved swagger in his step and creepy sparkle in his eye as he looked upon us unlucky few to be standing at the front door when his douchiness entered. His sunglasses were taken off like he was on the end of some crappy runway and his collar was popped, cuz as most creepers know a popped collar is essential when goin' creepin. He takes a few seconds to ogle us because we obviously are there solely to please him and want nothing more than him molesting us in his mind. Then he prepares to wow us with his wonderful use of imagery and just plain awesome talk.
There was a funny look on his face and I was slightly concerned he might be having a seizure and started to panic a little bit, but then realized it was his attempt at a sexy face. Hey im sorry the twitching eye and tounge peeking out had me worried. You can imagine our relief when we realized no seizure was forthcoming, just the imminent loss of our panties to his holiness.
He boldly announces something no one has had success saying without getting a swift evil eye from hell. "I will take the hottest waitress here, oh and with the biggest tits. Gotta have some tits with my wings and beer." This was delivered with the expected wink and giggle. As you can imagine we were thoroughly charmed. It's not everyday that someone with such wit graces us with his presence. I mean what can't you love about such a sweet and endearing request? Well...more of an order but im just the help so what do I know.
So, I draw the short straw....er I mean have the honor of having him in my section. And what does mister doucheface say other than, "did you hear what I said at the front door? I wanted the hottest waitress." I was thoroughly shamed that one such as he would not deem me fit to serve his food. I apologized profusely for disappointing his highness and immediately went and fixed myself so I would be up to his standards.........you didn't believe that either? Crap not a good liar. I suppose I can tell how it truly ended now. After telling him in no uncertain terms that we are here to serve your food and only your food and couldn't give two fucks if you don't deem us pretty enough I proceeded to be a royal bitch throughout his whole meal. And I lived happily ever after :)
Really though. Bitches be trippin if they think that request will get them anywhere. Seriously what was the expected outcome of that? Want us to fall to the ground and beg for you to pick us? Cuz I can guarantee that will never happen, sorry to burst your douchey bubble :) havent seen him since...that's too bad cuz he gave us enough stuff to bitch about for a while!