LAST NIGHT OF TRAINING! Sorry…I was pretty excited and that is the only way I could think of to show my level of excitement. I had my last night of training last night and I have decided a few things that I will share with you.
-All you can eat wing night can suck my dick. (yes, I have a dick sorry to break the news. It might be metaphorical but it is there and will frequently be mentioned on here. Mostly in a sucking my dick variety. Just a heads up.) If your waitress brings you ten plates of wings and is running her ass off all night so you can eat yourself into an early grave and the bill is only $20 but she did a shit ton of work please tip accordingly.
-I absolutely love children but if you kid is all gross and wearing what must be the latest fashion trend of wing sauce covering 95% of their body I DO NOT want to hold/kiss/be near that child. I know that sounds mean but I have a white shirt. Do you hear me you crazy mom’s. A WHITE shirt. Sauced up children + My clean shirt= me spending $10 for a new shirt which is no bueno.
-If your gonna be a shitty tipper please tell me at the beginning of the meal. If your cool as shit and I spend a ton of time talking to you cuz like I said you seem cool as shit then you turn around and proudly hand me $2 on a $30 bill. Am I supposed to drop to the floor and kiss your feet for this amazing generosity you have displayed to one such as lowely as I? Because if any kissing will occur it will be you kissing my ass making up for that awful tip after I ran my ass of for you.
-If you order food then proceed to eat said food then we pretty much assume that you liked it. So you complaining that you didn’t like it and don’t want to pay for it when five seconds earlier you were licking the ranch off your grubby little fingers is fucking stupid and a waste of our time. If you don’t like the food then how about you should tell your waitress..oh I dunno one of the million times she stops by to ask how the food is and if you need anything else. I could have misinterpreted your grunts and belches though. Def my bad.
-If I say I have a boyfriend then that means a couple of things: I actually do have a boyfriend, I don’t want you thinking I am anywhere near single, you smell, you dress funny, the idea of ever letting you think I was mildly interested makes me gag, and I just don’t like you. It really could be any of those and many more but what it boils down to is I am not interested. I know that is so hard to believe seeing as how you are just so super neat and all.
I think that pretty much sums it all up. :) I am glad that I am out of training I go to take my menu test again tomorrow! I bombed it when I tried it last night so I will be retaking so I can get scheduled! Whoop whoop!
Well that is all I think, ta ta for now!